Listening to God, a journey through cake, photography and a wedding dress!

There have been times in my life that God has used a mega phone in my ear. Once when he led me to stop making cakes. I had been doing cakes out of my home for years. Almost 16 to be a fact. I could eat,sleep and breathe cakes. If I wasn't doing a cake I was looking at them online or in a magazine. Then one day when I was praying .I heard Him say give it up. I thought surely not. I must be crazy. I am finally getting a lot of business and making  good money. I was in my own mind doing good. I had even won some cake competitions,and was teaching others  how to do cakes also.. ok, I need to stay on mark here. God was telling me to quit. I did not listen at first.
 God started closing doors in my business. People would call and cancel their orders. Or "forget" to pay me. Or my mixer would break. It was always something. then He did something I never ,ever dreamed He would do. He took my desire. I was praying again and I told Him God if you want me to quit: take my want to . He did. That very day. I no longer wanted to look at a cake or a cake magazine. I didn't want to think of cake. It literally turned my stomach.
 I started to sale my equipment . I turned people down over and over. He was changing me. He was molding me. I was letting Him. I was so scared. But how could I be so scared when I knew without a doubt I was in His will .  Finally I was listening to Him. I was happy, nervous and excited to see where He was taking me.What  did He have in mind?
 I kept seeking his will , He kept blessing. He gave me another hobby, a new love started. Photography. For every Like I had on my cake page. God gave me extra on my photography page. For every cake I turned down He would send me a client to photograph. It was fun to see God open doors that I never thought would be attainable. His ways are not our ways. But I trust God!!! I trust Him I do. I have learned to listen. When He speaks.. I take notes. Like with this Blog. He told me who to talk to ,who to ask for help. He matched me up with DeAnna  a long time ago. Maybe even for this purpose right here. to help someone else, to trust Him. To walk by faith.  A few months ago God talked to me again. I was shopping in a store and I decided to go to the next shop and look around. That store happened to be a formal dress shop. I went in thinking I was looking for my daughter a pageant dress and ... well God had other ideas. as I scanned the dresses I got stopped dead in my tracks. God said buy it. Buy this dress right now. I remember looking at the price tag and the size. Staring at how perfect it was. But I knew, no one getting married. Nor did I need a wedding dress whose price started out at $1200. CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!! I have lost it. 100% yep I am nuts . I looked at the dress for at least a half an hour. Thinking and praying. Wondering who in the world would God want me to buy this dress for.
 I left the store. I walked out without listening.. I questioned God.. and I knew better. I had learned that its better just to listen and obey... there really isn't any other way. I got home and I felt horrible. I could not get that blasted dress out of my head. I told my daughter what happened in the store. She was questioning my judgement herself. I went to sleep that night. thinking about that gorgeous dress. I knew it was meant for someone I knew. It had to be a special dress.

Morning comes  , I get out of bed . the dress pops into my head. uuuggghhh. so I get into the shower. God screams at me with that mega phone.. Hello its for DeAnna. You should trust me! Oh my word!!I hop out of the shower. No towel ( do not visualize)I grab my phone and scroll through caller id.  With wet hands and all.I call DeAnna. I tell her she is going to think I am crazy but I need her to take a ride with me. A ride God has me take her on by faith. She never thought twice about going with me to Aiken. DeAnna and Donald were to be doing a vow renewal soon but De was going to wear a red dress. So we thought. Oh well we get to the store. I show her the dress. She tries it on,tears stream down both of our faces. God has done it again!!!! DeAnna felt like a bride. All her hard work with losing 220 lbs . God was giving her a gorgeous reward. It almost fit perfectly. A tiny bit of work with alterations and this dress would be PERFECT .  She was speechless. I was speechless. That in its self if you know either one of us is uncanny. we are blabber mouths. She was repeating O I look skinny. I feel so pretty. She was!! She was showing on the outside what God had done on the inside. Her beauty was everywhere. God had done it again. He had proved to me... girl trust ME. We bought the dress. And just the other night I got to photograph the most amazing woman I know. In that dress, the dress God gave her.  What a blessing to me to watch her. I am so proud of her. Listen to His voice. He will not steer you wrong. He will not misguide you. Walk with Him He will supply your needs... and give you some of your wants too!Trust HIM!    God is FAITHFUL!!

Merry Christmas Eve.

Daddy, Mama, Tina (sister), Charlie (brother) and Me Christmas 1980ish.

This year is my first Christmas without my daddy, ever. Yep, I was blessed enough to spend all 38 Christmases before, with him and most of my family. That is a blessing and the blessing is what I hope to stay focused on this year. I am also blessed that this is my first Christmas having my brother and his beautiful family here with us physically in many years. There are hard things in play right now also. My mom is having a hard time getting over the loss of my father and I am not sure how to be there for her. I am a fixer and just want to make it all better so we can get back to being happy....but guess what? I can't fix this. However I do know that God is at work in our lives and He wants to bring about beauty. He is our father and has been since we surrendered our lives to Him. He will not fail us!

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18

You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you. Isaiah 26:3

This last verse is my life line when I am grieving. God gave me this verse when we lost our Libby Grace through adoption loss. It is the perfect reminder that peace only comes from our God and Our Savior. He is worthy of our trust and focus. While it is hard not seeing my dad and knowing that our earthly relationship has come to completion, it is a huge comfort to know that he is in heaven cheering us on in our days left. It is also comforting to know that I am surrounded by family and friends who love me, who pray for me and who want to see my life glorify the Lord. Grief and pain at a joyous time is not easy but wasn't that first Christmas tinged with sadness to come? Sadness that would redeem the world? I think now more than ever I truly will be worshipping Christ this Christmas. Celebrating a Savior rather than a season. Praying for you as you set out to glorify Him this Christmas!

“A little while, and you will see me no longer; and again a little while, and you will see me.” John 16:16

This is our hope that we will see Christ in a little while, these times may seem endless but they will only endure for a little while, and then we will be with our Savior, our reward
. Merry CHRISTmas! The Pearson Family!

The Thankful Tree

I have got so much to thank God for.Where do I begin.. I know! I am going to pose my own challenge for next year.

   First let me say I love Christmas I really do , but its the hardest time for me also. I also found that I wish it was Christmas daily. Weird right.. :)
 All the month of November everyone puts up on Facebook how thankful they are daily. But December gets here and its such a busy month we do forget to still be thankful. Hence next year I am going to do things a little different at my house.  Everyday starting Christmas day this year I am going to cut  piece of paper ,write my blessing of the day.. something that brought me joy on that paper. I will then attach a string to it. Next year this time... or whenever I put up my tree I want to have a tree full of paper. So when I add lights to my tree and then the papers the lights will illuminate all the little things that have made me happy all year.  It will be my thankful tree. My Jesus hung apon a tree. So I can be thankful! So we can be thankful!  I challenge you to do the same. Make next year special... then lets all post pictures of our thankful trees. I bet I can't get 10 people to do it.. I bet .
  How do you think my family will feel when they go check out my tree and they see something written on that note that they have done for me.. They will have joy . They will know they were a blessing to me, to their family. 
  So here is the challenge: buy some card stock ,different colors.  cut the pieces into a shape or a square.. I think a star would be cool.. then every day write on your cut out.. I bet you even by the end of week one you will have a spark of Christmas joy.  At the end of the month do a recap.. READ your blessings. Repeat this every month..until its Christmas 2014. Then post your pictures . Right here. Back to this blog. Post them to me. So that everyone can see. Get creative , have fun . There is no right or wrong tree. Its your tree of thankfulness.
 Stay tuned I will keep you posted on how its going. Merry Christmas!!!!! The Sinclair's

The joys in infertility...

Last night a little after 8pm I received a call announcing the birth of my sweet sister in Christ's new baby boy. She called me from the delivery room! Man did I ever feel special. What a blessing! I have never had reason to be in a delivery room as the guest of honor. God chose to build our family through adoption. This journey and decision, that was completely out of my control didn't come without heartache and much pain. However it isn't without it's joys too. I know that may sound crazy to some, but seeing the silver lining is how I have survived my life with infertility.

When this friend was expecting I was kept up to date on all major milestones, I was asked to plan his baby shower and then came the call from the delivery room. This friend is not the only one to treat me so well. I have been first on a list of contacts after the birth of a sweet, sweet baby girl that is now in school was born. I was present in the delivery room when my niece came into this world almost 15 years ago. I was there hours after my 2nd God son made his appearance into this world and I was at the house when he came home from the hospital, my sister in law called and told me she was pregnant almost first, and called us as she was in labor to come to Florida and share in her happy time, and I still remember the first time I felt my brother's oldest kick in utero for the first time. Each of these mother's shared their pregnancies and babies with me, I was allowed to be part of their joy and experiences. Which at the time, we all hoped that God would open my womb and bless us biologically but they still wanted to bless me and allow me to be a part of their joy. I don't think they know the HUGE impact and blessings their choices have brought me. When things were bleak after losing our Libby Grace through adoption loss at 3 days old it was these memories and friendships that got me through. When we waited for our babies to arrive I was able to imagine the scenes that took place in their delivery rooms even though I wasn't there. And the most important blessing of all is I was treated normally. They didn't keep me at arms length because I was barren and they didn't know what to do. I wanted to take the time and say thank you to each of my dear sisters in Christ that have allowed me to share in your babies and pregnancies and I want you to know that in doing so each of you have touched my life in a mighty way and have brought me much joy!

JOY

Today I feel like crying.

 I don't feel like anyone likes me, loves me or appreciates me. 

I feel like if I had a hole to crawl in ,I would. I am defeated, deflated . 

  BUT, as I set here and type my heart starts to swell. 

I can hear that little voice inside my head say, you are LOVED, you are wanted by ME. 

Come unto me all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 

So as I type with tears on my cheeks. I will say: Satan get away. 

You do not have any control over my mind. 

You will not steal my joy!!! I am not defeated !

God is on my side!!!! Praise His Holy Name!

  This time of year we all get so busy and we forget sometimes that we are so blessed. Granted, all November we talked about it daily all over Facebook. Oh what a difference a few days makes.
Here is a challenge... what if today we start something. We start a pay it forward.  If for Christmas you get a gift like a new shirt. Give a gift of an old shirt you have to Salvation Army. If your kids get a toy, tell them to give a toy to another child that may not have one. My kids keep wanting, this year I am going to make sure they give back and me too.  Make someone else's day. If you are at Starbucks getting a treat. Pay for the person behind you. Or buy the man at McDonalds a cup of coffee. Do something for someone else. Not because you have to, but because you can. Be a blessing. Instead of stocking stuffers go buy socks for the mission. Your heart will swell. It really will be like Christmas in your heart. Trust me. No time to be down in the dumps now! Remember J O Y. Jesus Others and You!

My Prayer

I humble myself before you Lord. 

Mold me , make me in your likeness. In your image. 

Shape me to be the woman you want me to be. 

The wife you'd have me to be. 

Restore my longing to be the keeper of the home. 

Help me to love others as you have loved me. 

Remove people that are not good for me.

 Guide my feet where I trod.

 Close my mouth before I stumble.

 Control my temper, grant me grace to accept things I can not change. 

I am nothing without you Lord. 

Every breathe I am given is from you.

 My heart longs to serve you. 

Forgive me where I have failed.

  I love you Lord. You are my dearest friend. You have loved me when no one else did. 

I need you Lord. O, how I need thee. 

Hear my heart, I pray thee. 

O God bless my family. Keep us safe. Save my family Lord. I give them to you.

 I don't want them to die without knowing you. 

I don't know what tomorrow holds, I know you hold it.

 Thank you , Thank you for everything . 

From great to small Lord, I thank you. 

I am so blessed. Your mercies are abundant.

 Oh I need thee. Lord, I beg for you to show up in situations. 

You know my heart. My pain. My thorn. I give it to you. 

I thank you for your strength to make it through. 

I give this all to you. I give myself to you. I praise you. 

My mighty King. You are my fortress through it all. 

Help guide me from this wilderness.  

Shine love into my face, please take the darkness from my mind. 

Let me focus.

 Let me be a light to the world. so I may show others your salvation.

I love you Lord. I Praise thee. Thank you Lord. In your HOLY , Precious name. I pray . Amen.

Expect Change...

I always chuckle to myself when I hear people say "My spouse has changed" as if they weren't expecting it. Really? When do we ever stay the same? The only thing constant in life is change and that applies to those we love. So if this is your attitude start praying for God to correct it. 

Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. ~ Phillipians 2:3

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. ~Romans 12:2

When I look back at the time line of our marriage we have endured a lot of change. It never occurred to us to let that become a wedge in our marriage. I guess we just expected it, since change started early on. Our family size has changed, my weight, our financial status, and on and on it goes. Our newest change has been with Donald's health. I will admit that it completely surprised us, he has always been healthy and diabetes is the last thing we thought he would face. It threw him for a loop and he had a hard time coming to terms with it. During these days I did balk, I wanted my care-free husband back, but he couldn't give me that, and I had to dig deep and give him an understanding wife that even though I didn't understand what he was going through allowed him to explore this journey, and find his way. That is what marriage is, accepting change and allowing our spouses to grow and become the person God has created them to be, His will is far greater than any desire we may have in this area. The good news is God never changes, so if we seek His will then there is the consistency and stability we crave, in the proper perspective.

 Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning. ~James 1:17